Is Waiting for Sex til Marriage Realistic?!?!

Question 3
I'm a single woman, in my late twenties and have no kids. It is very difficult to abstain from having sex while dating. Sometimes I feel like it's not realistic if you are dating someone to wait until marriage, especially if you have been dating a year+. Is there some encouragement you can give me to continue this path of celibacy because at times I want to give in and do what I know I shouldn't do according to the Bible.

Answer:

Woah its the SEX topic. I want to start off by saying this: its far easier for a person who is single, saved, and NOT dating to give advice to a person who is single, saved, and is DATING. Married people also have a lot to say about the importance of waiting until marriage for sex & not to discredit their advice I want you to understand it's always easier to tell someone what they should do when you are not in their shoes. I don't care if they put the shoes on before if they're currently not on that persons feet it is easier for them to tell you what you should and should not do. Don't let their approach discourage you, make you feel bad, or rub you the wrong way.... take the truth and apply it to your life asking God to help you. So I can be transparent let me let you know that I am a single, saved, woman who is currently not dating so I understand both sides. My first bit of advice is to explore your reason for not having sex. Take time & ask yourself truly "why am I waiting until marriage to have sex"? Is your decision for your mother, your father, is it because you grew up in the church, is it because you feel like you're going to go to hell if you do it or are you doing it for yourself ( been hurt before, had/have a std, don't want to get pregnant etc). None of the reasons listed will keep you on the straight and narrow! The only sure thing that can help you as you are waiting until marriage is Christ & Christ alone, period! Once you determine that Christ is the reason for waiting until marriage you have a foundation, you have a starting place and you have reliable help. Secondly I would encourage you to surround yourself with other people that are waiting until marriage for sex. If all your other girlfriends and their boyfriends are getting it popping and they're telling you all their sex stories, or are further feeding you the lies of the enemy by trying to convince you that waiting until marriage is unrealistic, then your journey of celibacy is going to be very hard and darn near impossible. Other celibate friends will serve as your sounding board who you can call anytime for encouragement. Also make sure you H\have a realistic conversation with the person you are dating.

**Intimacy is not Sex!**

 Decide and create ways you two can avoid going all the way. One thing for certain that I know singles like to do is flirt with the idea of having sex. Foreplay and all that other stuff feels really good, it's fun, and it's very exciting but it almost always lands you on a difficult path that's far more difficult to escape from... and simply put: makes everybody involved mad especially if you decide not to go all the way AND if you happen to slip up and go all the way you end up mad at yourself, mad at your boyfriend, mad at God, running from God and so many other different destructive patterns that jack you up even more. The STRUGGLE IS REAL and I want to make sure that you understand that I understand.....however to wait until marriage is possible. Its realistic and there are so many people out here who have waited until marriage for sex and I have met them, I have talked to them, they have shared with me their journey, their stories & all of them do not have lame, corny, weird boyfriends some of them are married to very handsome, established men some of which you may never think would have waited. SO don't allow the enemy and the majority of the men you speak with who tell you that waiting is stupid, nobody's going to wait on you, the expectation to wait for marriage is unrealistic etc to coerce you out of the decision and commitment you made with Christ. All in all do whatever you can to keep those panties ON... if you have to super glue them bad boys to your panty line do whatever it takes!!

 Prayer is also a powerful tool and I think that sometimes we overlook the power of prayer. When you get horny or you get backed in a corner & you feel like "Lord I cant do this anymore", start talking to HIM. Tell HIM you're horny, tell HIM your fears, tell HIM what you're feeling, talk to God and let him know. Ask for His help, ask HIM to help change the heart & mind of your boyfriend, tell HIM to make the relationship that you're in clear to you. Ask Him to show you if this relationship is someplace you're supposed to be. Give HIM time to speak back to you; create that open line of communication with the person you originally made the commitment with so that you can strengthen that bond and in return gain the courage needed to model that commitment in living color. Sista girl its hard out here and I know firsthand so Ima continued to pray for you, all of my other single friends, and myself included because the struggle is real, the enemy is busy, and it is quite natural to get horny so I get it!!! I hope that I was able to encourage you in some shape, form, or fashion.... continue to reach out to me during the struggle for encouragement you got this! 

~Konversations w/ Kristen