WRITTEN IN 2012
Your thoughts?!?
The thought process of the African American man is quite
cultivated from the viewpoints and practices of other nationalities. Many of
their actions are blamed on the “oppressor” which negatively impact their choices,
relationships, and personal lives. I am
led to believe that the African American man is unaware of who his oppressor
is: the white man, the African American woman, or himself. This segment will
explore the viewpoint of the African American man: love and relationships.
Dating back to
slavery, black men were ripped away from their families, encouraged to go
elsewhere to work in demeaning and hostile environments, and reestablish homes
with other women in their new habitats. Its amazing how this mindset still
exists today. Although society claims to have adopted the “all men are created
equal” approach, no longer physically forcing African American men into
demeaning jobs, however creating a struggle for black men to excel in thriving
careers; serves as no justification as to why black men still hold on to the
ways of their oppressor (in this case the “white man). These ways were
established years ago, and like stated before encouraged black men to be absent
in the home, and unfaithful to their wives and children. Unfortunately, this
plan was developed to create separation between African Americans. This
separation was orchestrated to impose grief, anguish, and frustration within
the black community. This comingling of negative emotions were intended to produce
immense rage within the community, resulting in black on black violence, ultimately killing
off the race, and sadly this process has not been identified as a motive of
demise, given by the “oppressor” among blacks. It amazes me as an African
American woman that our race, especially our black men do not recognize the
existence of this plague and strive as a unit to demolish it.
From generation to generation a large amount of African
American grandfathers and fathers teach their sons to spread their wild oats, sow their seeds,
and get all the women they can before they settle down and be faithful with one
woman. As if family life is a death sentence and should be utilized as the
final resort; the idea of saving marriage to when a man is old, unable to
maintain stamina, and has developed a distorted perception of women, given the
experiences gained from the multitude of relationships he’s had. Black men feel
they are able to handle the demands of multiple women and maintain a dead end
job because through history it has proven itself to be done. Without lending
any regard to the damage done to all individuals involved (women, children, and
in some cases men), black men take on a warped sense of pride in their ability
to be the one in control, as opposed to the “oppressor”, in this case “the white
man”. A ignorant notion that as long as no one else controls my actions I am in
fact the leader, regardless if my actions mirror the expectations of the one
who I deem my oppressor.
African American men have been labeled rolling stones, dead
beat, unfaithful, and unproductive in the home and there has yet to be a
massive uproar of men who seek to challenge those claims. Instead, African
American men have left the responsibility of creating change, to a select few
who have decided to take a stance against the negative beliefs against them.
However, these noble men are knocked down by bitter black women, and their
fellow African American male counterparts who refuse to be the image of change.
This has created a new phenomenon which transitions not only the good black men,
who respect family, but the no good black men, who could care less about others
but more of themselves, to other
nationalities of women labeling not just the “White man” as the oppressor but
the “black woman” as well. This shift of nationality preference still diverts
the responsibility away from black men as a whole coupled with their actions, (that
have negatively influenced the attitude and actions of black women) onto everyone
else but themselves.
Change will not happen, black men will not take
responsibility for their actions, until this plague has been labeled and deemed
a problem by more than a few African American men. Once the problem is exposed
then there have to be measures taken to counteract the issue. More programs
need to be created to educate black men, and young children. African American
men must achieve a mental transformation, in which they take their rightful
place as leaders in the home, and lead effectively and efficiently. They must recognize
the difference between control and self control, gain a complete understanding
of the difference between positive and negative leadership, and own the
responsibility for the affect that their actions have on society, women, and
children. Lastly, black men must label themselves as the modern oppressor, and
find grief in limiting their individual success. Some things cannot be changed for the black
man, but there are some things that the black man can change and that’s the
starting point!
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