Monday, August 12, 2013

The African American Man: Love & Relationships (Not Applicable to All)

WRITTEN IN 2012
Your thoughts?!?


The thought process of the African American man is quite cultivated from the viewpoints and practices of other nationalities. Many of their actions are blamed on the “oppressor” which negatively impact their choices, relationships, and personal lives.  I am led to believe that the African American man is unaware of who his oppressor is: the white man, the African American woman, or himself. This segment will explore the viewpoint of the African American man: love and relationships.

 Dating back to slavery, black men were ripped away from their families, encouraged to go elsewhere to work in demeaning and hostile environments, and reestablish homes with other women in their new habitats. Its amazing how this mindset still exists today. Although society claims to have adopted the “all men are created equal” approach, no longer physically forcing African American men into demeaning jobs, however creating a struggle for black men to excel in thriving careers; serves as no justification as to why black men still hold on to the ways of their oppressor (in this case the “white man). These ways were established years ago, and like stated before encouraged black men to be absent in the home, and unfaithful to their wives and children. Unfortunately, this plan was developed to create separation between African Americans. This separation was orchestrated to impose grief, anguish, and frustration within the black community. This comingling of negative emotions were intended to produce immense rage within the community, resulting in  black on black violence, ultimately killing off the race, and sadly this process has not been identified as a motive of demise, given by the “oppressor” among blacks. It amazes me as an African American woman that our race, especially our black men do not recognize the existence of this plague and strive as a unit to demolish it.

From generation to generation a large amount of African American grandfathers and fathers teach their sons  to spread their wild oats, sow their seeds, and get all the women they can before they settle down and be faithful with one woman. As if family life is a death sentence and should be utilized as the final resort; the idea of saving marriage to when a man is old, unable to maintain stamina, and has developed a distorted perception of women, given the experiences gained from the multitude of relationships he’s had. Black men feel they are able to handle the demands of multiple women and maintain a dead end job because through history it has proven itself to be done. Without lending any regard to the damage done to all individuals involved (women, children, and in some cases men), black men take on a warped sense of pride in their ability to be the one in control, as opposed to the “oppressor”, in this case “the white man”. A ignorant notion that as long as no one else controls my actions I am in fact the leader, regardless if my actions mirror the expectations of the one who I deem my oppressor.

African American men have been labeled rolling stones, dead beat, unfaithful, and unproductive in the home and there has yet to be a massive uproar of men who seek to challenge those claims. Instead, African American men have left the responsibility of creating change, to a select few who have decided to take a stance against the negative beliefs against them. However, these noble men are knocked down by bitter black women, and their fellow African American male counterparts who refuse to be the image of change. This has created a new phenomenon which transitions not only the good black men, who respect family, but the no good black men, who could care less about others but more of themselves,  to other nationalities of women labeling not just the “White man” as the oppressor but the “black woman” as well. This shift of nationality preference still diverts the responsibility away from black men as a whole coupled with their actions, (that have negatively influenced the attitude and actions of black women) onto everyone else but themselves.



Change will not happen, black men will not take responsibility for their actions, until this plague has been labeled and deemed a problem by more than a few African American men. Once the problem is exposed then there have to be measures taken to counteract the issue. More programs need to be created to educate black men, and young children. African American men must achieve a mental transformation, in which they take their rightful place as leaders in the home, and lead effectively and efficiently. They must recognize the difference between control and self control, gain a complete understanding of the difference between positive and negative leadership, and own the responsibility for the affect that their actions have on society, women, and children. Lastly, black men must label themselves as the modern oppressor, and find grief in limiting their individual success.  Some things cannot be changed for the black man, but there are some things that the black man can change and that’s the starting point! 

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