Advice For Engaged Couples

Question: Any advice for engaged couples?

Answer: If you are engaged get marital counseling. Not just from anybody or some random pastor….. do your research. There is no harm in therapy, counseling, life coaching etc and I am not just saying that because I work in this field I am just confident that these resources are available to help individuals advance in who they are. Premarital counseling allows you to explore topics you may have not touched on, topics you have already discussed and is available to help each person involved get a full grasp on who they are and who they are marrying. If you are confident in who you are and your future spouse, GREAT! counseling should be easy breezy! Whatever you do DON’T GET MARRIED WITHOUT IT! Its good maintenance for your relationship and honestly it really helps you. Not your future spouse but YOU, and anyone who is married or has been married will tell you that marriage ain’t no walk in the park. Counseling, coaching, etc prepares you so when the rough patches come, you will already be equipped to handle the situation, your emotions, and your reactions. True Story: Most couples I know who opted out of pre marital counseling would do anything for a counseling session now, their marriage has pretty much been rocky since the honeymoon. 

Also make sure you know who you are marrying and why you are getting married. This is so important. Many people avoid exploring these areas and I encourage you not to. When I say "who you are marrying" I am talking about the character, habits, attitude, and mannerism of the person you are about to marry. Make sure you can live with the whole package, not just the nice person who holds the door open for the elderly and can perform 1/2way decent in the bedroom. When I say "why you are getting married"….be real with yourself. Why are you marrying this person? If it’s because you are madly in love that’s sweet but why are you in love with this person? Is it because your clock is ticking, you feel like no one else wants you, everyone else you know is getting married, you can’t live without them, he asked, he/she has potential, she fine, the sex is good, you hope to fall in love with them at some point, etc. Whatever the reason is just make sure you know what it is exactly, so when ish hits the fan (because it hits the fan in any relationship) you will have full knowledge as to who you married and why you married them in the first place. It just helps to make things clear in seemingly unclear situations that will arise in marriage. 

Lastly, be real. I pray you haven’t been putting on to get the ring because that never works. You just end up getting married and your husband/wife will start hating you when the real you shows up. So go ahead and show up now, therefore everyone knows what to expect. No one is bamboozled, or hoodwinked. There is more but counseling will help you explore those areas. Preparation is key in any area!  

KWK

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