Sunday, September 22, 2013

I am an Adult and I Still Struggle with Fitting In!

Question: Sometimes I feel like I do not fit in anywhere. Do you have any advice for that? I know it’s a weird question but maybe you can give some insight.

Answer: I really do not have any advice other than the fact that great people usually don’t fit in, until they gain some level of notoriety, then they may get a wealth of fans and even more enemies than they started with. So with that information I would  say: own who you are! We live in a copy cat society everybody wants to be like somebody else. For example: Women in the church want to be like the first lady. If they don’t measure up to who they think she is they feel inadequate. Men wanna be like their favorite athlete, rapper, or even their pastor. That’s why advertisement is the largest market in the world, its designed to make you want to be a particular way and when you find out you may never measure up, you are subconsciously pressured to feel bad about yourself. Take heart girl you were created to serve your purpose.


Personally speaking,I have always felt like I did not belong! To brief you with a little summary about my life so you will see why I don't quite fit in here you go:  I am 26 but I have the soul of a 36 year old woman. I would rather listen to wisdom than foolishness all day. On the same hand I possess the turn up of a 26 year old, I absolutely love to dance and enjoy learning all of the latest dances, from line dances to twerk dances...... I love them all. I love Jesus so much its freak crazy and I do not mind going out. I am in no way a habitual clubber but if a group of friends what to go out, depending on my mood I will go. I dress the way I feel for that day. I don’t wear shorts because I don’t like them but I love skirts, long ones, short ones, fitted, or flare. My mom always laughs at me because I want a grill. I really do, a real cute, blinged out, grill....with canary yellow and pink diamonds. I wouldn’t wear it every day only the days I felt like it. I don’t go to church every Sunday. My church is nearly 2hrs from my house so I watch it live stream. My relationship with God isn’t limited to a Sunday morning service! Some weekdays I get in my "I need an overflow of Jesus" moods... & I download a whole bunch of sermons from various pastors and I literally listen to sermons all day long, even in my car. Or some days I feel like falling in love so I listen to Tamar or when my ratchet streak needs stroking I pop in 2chains.  Sounds crazy right?!?! Well its my crazy & I own it!

Now with such versatility there requires a great sense of discernment. Settings, music, and even some people can’t be entertained all the times. There is a great spiritual battle that goes along with this. What I mean is we wrestle not with people but spirits. So when I go out there are spirits there, I recognize them immediately.When I listen to music I am able to recognize the spirits present. Now on the same hand when I go to church (not my church) but some churches, there are spirits there and they aren’t always holy spirits. I am aware of that too. I meet people who would not even step foot into a church who have the most amazing spirits, and some who go to church faithful whose spirit I want no parts of.



All this to say, 1st  I believe in being transparent. I like people to see my life so they can get an understanding. I’m different, all day DIFFERENT! 2nd I am not encouraging you to be like me but I am indeed encouraging  you to be like YOU! Just because I am not like you and you are not like me does not make one of us better than the other. We live in a world of competition and judgment and the reason we engage in such behavior is so we can feel like we are better than someone else. I will humbly place myself at the bottom of the totem pole so that everyone else can be better than me. I’m so flawed it’s crazy, but at the same time I'm so perfect in Christ. My mom shakes her head at me all the time because some parts of me she can’t understand. You may never be understood by others, so why not take time to understand yourself!?! 

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