My Friend's Attention Seeking Behavior is Embarrassing!

Question: One of my  close friends craves attention when we go out. She always dresses provocatively, talks loud and sometimes inappropriate to get male attention, and the list goes on. I love her to death but I recently stopped hanging with her because sometimes she just doesn’t know how to act. She’s really fun and will do anything for you, but she cock blocks every time we go out, making sure she gets ALL the attention. She keeps asking why we don't hang out anymore and I feel bad for cutting her off. What should I do?

Answer: Well it looks like your friend suffers with a little bit of Histrionic personality disorder. In short this individual does everything to get attention and has an attitude when they don’t! I have met people like that and it really breaks your heart because on one hand you love them dearly AND on the other hand they piss you off!

Well first I am going to say have a talk with your friend, be candid and tell her what she’s doing. These type individuals are usually in some serious denial  so you may have to go to the extreme and record her or provide evidence to support your claim. Taking a neutral yet mutual witness with you may also help as long as you two don't gang up on her.  This way you tackle the situation head on and then you really know what you should do regarding the friendship. If she’s receptive to the feedback give her another chance. If she screws that up move along to the next step.

Next strategically plan where to invite her. I used to think I could mix all my friends up and hang out as one big, happy, friendly circle; a lesson I quickly learned doesn’t work! This particular friend provides great company when you go to loud places. For example: to a club, lounge, concert, church lol places where she will be drowned out by the loud music and all the other histrionically personality disordered women in the room. Yes even in church lol. But to dinner parties, and galas, private events, or the man you likes BBQ…… then she isn’t invited!

Lastly you have to weight your pros and cons with this friendship! Ask yourself: Life without her would be___________? I would venture out to say a little boring, or at least turned down a bit which sometimes is appropriate but sometimes a lively and vibrant friend is necessary. Learning to accept her for who she is and understanding when you can’t handle that, is the glue necessary to maintain this friendship! Be real with yourself: that spicy girlfriend is always fun when VIP, FREE, and random nights end up being your best nights are involved so understand her value in your life and your value in hers. She appreciates who you are, there may be a calming affect that you bring to her life that she craves, just don’t let that drain you!

Hope this helps~

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